What are we to make of Bicurious Men?

March 28, 2009

Welcome to Bicuriousmen.org. The whole subject of sexual identity remains a puzzling one. As I notice increasing numbers of Craigslist posts from married and “straight” men looking to experiment it raises many unanswered questions.  Is male-male attraction more prevalent than we’ve been led to believe?  Are the categories that we so commonly accept simply the result of societal conditioning?  At the other end of the spectrum, why are so many “straight” men threatened by the mere mention of two men engaged in sexual activity?

I created this site as an anonymous place to explore these questions.  I often read Dan Savage’s sex advice column and listen to his podcasts.  I find it refreshing and healthy for people to have an outlet to anonymously express what we don’t seem to be willing to talk about openly.

face2facePersonally, I have self-identified as gay for many years — but wonder whether there was a point at which I could have gone either way. To this day, I can admit to being “hetrocurious.”  I can get off on hetro porn (although the guys have to be hot) — and in public certain naturally attractive women catch my attention.

More interestingly, are the numbers of sexual encounters I’ve had with “straight,” “bi,” and “questioning” men — many of whom are married and have kids.  (Save your judgments.)  Are they repressed homosexuals?   Some researchers would suggest so.  However, the more I meet, the less I think so.  Perhaps we’ve been sold a bill of goods on this whole subject.

As I research history and look back and Greece and Rome, it was quite common for men to have sex with other men and think nothing of it. There’s countless evidence of the prevalence of male-male encounters in early American history.   It became a issue, only after the church and for awhile the medical community chose to pathologize homosexuality.

And what of homophobia? I’m intrigued by straight men that are afraid to see — or even talk about the movie “Broke Back Mountain.” There is a fascinating 1996 article published in The Journal of Abnormal Psychology on this subject. Researchers Henry Adams, Lester Wright, Jr., and Bethany Lohr from the University of Georgia report evidence that homophobic young males may secretly have gay urges.

Perhaps we’re all just sexual, with leanings toward one particular persuasion?

Join the dialogue, share your questions and experiences — tell us what you think?